New Years, Valanakah, Spring Break and Easter

 It's been a busy year so far. I am so thankful to be surrounded by family and friends because that has brought a lot of joy to our lives and helped to distract from some of the sadness. Last week marked 1 year without Neal, that is so hard to believe. 

We rang in the New Year with dear friends. We made a charcuterie board together and had a dance party. The girls had a sleepover and William and I had our own sleepover (like we do every night, ha). The food was good, everyone had fun and the people time was great. It's been a hard year that I am glad is over.

Valanakah was a big deal every year. These kids now expect it and look so forward to it. I made it happen for them and they loved it. Our sweet friends dropped Valanah gifts some days too. The girls made acts of service promises by day as my daily gifts, which was perfect. It was good.

Reese traveled with our church to a camp in Texas this year for spring break. She didn't have the best time but felt it was okay. I think it would have been better if more of her closer friends went too and I think she'd heard the camp was going to be amazing (T bar M) but she compared it to New Life in her head and it paled in comparison. Ella, William and I headed to Houston. Jacob traveled down with us because he had come to visit during his spring break, the week before ours. We stayed with Aunt Mau and Uncle Chris, which is always fun. We went to the rodeo and saw Luke Bryan and rode some rides. On the way home we spend the night at Uncle Pat & Aunt Cheryl's ranch. William lived his best ranch life feeding cows, riding tractors and getting muddy. It was a fund time.

We got home from Houston mid week. We enjoyed out time at home that week too. Keeco volunteered at the animal shelter in honor of Neal and we all really enjoyed that. We also had a few people over one night and made some plates and watched videos of Neal. It was a good week.

Last weekend we celebrated Easter. We've intended to go to the outdoor service several years but it has always gotten canceled due to weather when we have tried. The weather this year couldn't have been more beautiful. The outdoor service was so good and so many special people came to the same time service as us which was great. We had friends over for lunch and did an egg hunt. Everyone seemed to have a great time, the food was delicious, the kids played outside for hours and everyone was so worn out. It was a good Sunday celebrating with family and friends.

Last Friday was the year mark of the day that we lost Neal. Chelsea took the day off and she and my mom spent most of the day with us. We ate and cooked and got our nails done. We planted a tree in Neal's honor and placed the stone that Tyler & Chelsea got for us. It was a good day together but it's so hard to believe that he's been gone for a year and that we will do this whole life without him.

Random updates on a Monday from 4 years ago and today

I used to post entries that I named "Random Updates on a Monday". I found this one that was from 2019 that I never finished and never posted. So I am going to complete it now leaving the old and adding some new.

From 2019:

I have to get better at updating this but life is crazy right now! These are a few things I do not want to forget!! They are mostly centered around William but that’s because he is changing daily.

1. Every animal is a “puppy” right now. We will be driving down the road by a pasture and we hear “PUPPY” from the back. He sees cows and will then sometimes moo but he calls them puppy. This also applies to the panda on the Panda Express sign, the fish in the bass pro building, his toy moose, rabbits and most other animals...including actual puppies.

2. He went to MDO for the 1st time this fall last week. This was my 1st day (aside from traveling) to be kid free in 19 months. I got so much done around the house and the house was so peaceful and quiet. But I missed them all!

3. William is ball obsessed, specifically baseball. We watch the Astros play most evenings this time of year and all day he begs me to turn “baseball” on the tv. He calls all ball sports baseball though. When driving through neighborhoods if he sees a basketball goal he yells “BASEBALL” and some neighborhoods have a basketball goal every other house. He also says this if he sees a soccer goal. He is the absolute cutest boy ever!

4. Reese and Ella just started 4th and 2nd grade. It’s too early to know for sure but I think they may have gotten their best teachers yet. I’m pretty excited about this year.

Today:

5. That year above with those teachers was the year that Covid shut the world down. So they only had those teachers through March before school closed for the remainder of the year. They were great teachers though. The girls went on to do school from home. Neal began working his afternoons from home so that I could mow, mowing kept me sane that year. I could drive aimlessly around the field and didn't have to help with school, deal with arguments or take care of anyone...I couldn't even hear anyone even if they tried to get my attention. I could also see the fruits of my labor almost instantly and I loved it.

6. William is going on about 2 years of poop issues. He refuses to poop and has gone up to 36 days between bowel movements. At this point I think it is a mental block. He has trained his brain to not poop. We did stool softeners for a while but he would still try to control it and would end up with small accidents all day long. He will get to a point that he can no longer control it and his body is basically having tremors and he gives in and pushes it in the toilet and then the toilet is completely clogged. He has had control of so little with multiple moves, a daddy he was used to being able to play with and snuggle with that could no longer do those things, the cancer battle and having Neal and I away so often and losing his dad. He found something he has control of. We have been working with an OT for a few months now and really hope to be over this hurdle soon, we have been seeing progress.

7. We've gotten a decent amount of snow and ice this winter and several school cancellations, the whole week a few weeks ago. The kids have taken advantage of playing in it and I love that we have this here and there, I never had this growing up.

William's 5th birthday party

 William is to an age that he has many opinions. For a long time he thought he wanted his birthday party to be at Fast Lanes following a family party there for Reese the week of Neal's celebration of life ceremony. He then thought about Chuck E Cheese. The girls were pushing for the indoor water park at the Bentonville Community Center. We went to the water park over Thanksgiving break so he could experience it and decide if he wanted to consider that. He had a blast there but immediately declared it was to be at Fast Lanes.

He had an absolute blast at his birthday party. It was so much fun to watch him really enjoy his friends at his own party and understand they were there to celebrate him for the first time. He partied hard and had so much fun with the most fun little group. We had family and some of our most treasured family friends there also which made it that much more rich and so special. It really was such a fun party.

We got him a basketball goal for his main gift from us and close family. When we revealed it he was completely underwhelmed. I think we built it up too much and he couldn't imagine what would be outside and larger than he is. I think he came to the conclusion it must be a Batmobile. When he opened his eyes and it was not a Batmobile he was sorely disappointed and let us know. Since he has played on the goal several times and loves it.

On his actual birthday Reese had a volleyball tournament. He was a trooper and sat in the gym for several hours. Sadly they lost. He got to watch his 2 favorite players though, Reese and Sara Weaver. We did take a break between games to go have pancakes and we went to Defy when the tournament was over. We had Batman cake together after dinner and all in all it was a great day.

 

William's 5 year old questionnaire

 What is your favorite color? green

Who is your favorite friend? James & Coen

What is your favorite snack? cheese balls

What do you like to do with Reese? to jump on her and for her to fart but she bes mean

What is your favorite thing to eat for lunch? salami & pickles & water and some broccoli trees and some Cheetos 

What is your favorite drink? fruit beer 

What is your favorite thing to do outside? play volleyball with a lot of balls on the trampoline 

What is your favorite sport? Football

What do you want to be when you grow up? Knuckles from Sonic

What is your favorite animal? cows and lions but not tigers and kitty cats

What is your favorite book? space ship books

What do you like to do with Mommy? lay down in the bed and watch a show 

Then he said this unprompted 🖤And I like to do something with daddy, I like to hug him

What is your favorite song? jingle bells & I like it I love it

What is your favorite thing to eat for dinner? Spaghetti 

What do you take with you when you go to bed? Pippy

What is your favorite holiday? Easter 

What makes you happy? poop on the potty (that makes me happy too if you'd ever do it)

What makes you sad? when I throw up but I just want to go to Bluey

What do you think about before bed? that I want to wake up and play with my toys

What is your favorite thing to do with Ella? To play with her but she always bes mean 

What is your favorite thing to do as a family? go to the beach

Such a great loss 🖤

I wrote this entry in early December but it looks like I failed to publish it until now. So the timing of it is a bit off but it needs to be out there and I don't have the energy to edit all of it to fit the timing.

It looks like the last time I updated the blog was following Reese's 11th birthday. My sister, Chelsea, had my blog printed for my 40th birthday and it is one of the best gifts I have ever received. It tells our family story from the time we found out we were pregnant until Reeses 11th birthday. 

This blog has been so special to me as a way to document special things for our family and I hope the kids cherish being able to look back one day, I already do. I haven't kept up with the blog well in way over a year for good reason. We lost Neal after a battle with melanoma on April 7th. It has been the saddest year of my life. Losing him has been excruciatingly painful and watching 3 children, who I love more than life, have to deal with the pain and confusion of losing the very best father is the worst.

I have documented most of the cancer journey and terrible loss on my social media accounts. I want to continue on with this blog as it brings so much joy and I want to have documentation of the kids favorites on their birthdays and major events and vacations. So, a lot has been missed here but we will continue on. I hope to post a new entry soon to document our trip to Disney back in October. Whew, this was a hard one to write but I've had hopes and plans of picking this back up for a while now. We continue on.🖤🖤🖤

Ella's 11th birthday party

This year we celebrated Ella's birthday about 2 weeks early with a swim party at the house. She had a soccer tournament, church retreat and a Disney trip in October so scheduling was a challenge, but we got it in. These girls seemed to have a blast and it made me so thankful for the pool and space to play. My sister and family were so helpful and I am thankful for the extra help. Chelsea came through with another great balloon arch. 

She requested a homemade strawberry cake with vanilla icing. She used one of my pots and some fake flowers to decorate it herself and it was adorable. 

William had a few meltdowns when he wasn't the center of attention with all the girls but mostly he had a blast. This boy loves hanging with all the girls.